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Okay. All in one breathe, without pause, without punctuation, try to read the following out loud. Ready? GO!
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"Hi gerianne hi honey i'm [any name] so honey i'm your radiation therapist okay honey i'm going to tell you everything that everybody else has already told you at least five times and i know you know all this but im going to tell you again another ten times because i love hearing my own voice so im going to keep talking im just gonna talk and talk and talk and talk and........."
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I wanted to look for the oxygen tank which HAD to be attached to her somewhere. but where was it???? How could she keep going like this??? She was making the Energizer Bunny look like a complete wimp.
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I finally force my way in: "May I get a word in???!!!"
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"oh sure honey sure gerianne im listening go ahead hon what do you want to say you have a question go ahead honey ask anything you want gerianne im listening.........................
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I forced my way in again: "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING ARE YOU???" I ask, in a somewhat exasperated tone.
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"oh im sorry honey im listening go ahead hon what do you want to say you have a question go ahead honey ask anything you want gerianne im listening........................."
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At this point I think I just lost it and may have just screamed: "'SHUT UP and listen!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
By this time I had forgotten my original question and all I could think of was: "Whoever gave you permission to call me honey? or hon?"
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She continued this behaviour during my treatment. Every time I even started to speak, she'd cut me off and would again start talking over me.
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"you're okay honey you're doing really well you're okay gerianne you're doing really really well..............."
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I wanted to slap her silly, but I kept my cool as much as I possibly could. I started to not bother even trying to tell her anything; but on the second day, when they ended up NOT doing my treatment because I was too far down on the table (which I knew right away and tried to tell her but of course she wouldn't listen), I ended up emailing them and pretty much said:
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"This person is causing me a great deal of stress. We all know that stress IS NOT GOOD/HELPFUL for my recovery. Therefore, if at all possible PLEASE DO NOT have her involved in my treatments ever again. If she is, I'll likely leave and not have my treatment that day." I'm sure she is a kind and sweet woman - maybe she's the sweetest, kindest person on the planet, BUT not good for me.
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Since then, she has not been involved in my treatments and the rest of my treatments thus far have gone amazingly well. All the rest of the staff have been incredible. I've become completely in awe of what they know and how precise they have to be - fractions of millimeters. Holy crap! How is that even possible? Rocket scientists have nothing on these guys!
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They've also assigned me to a different treatment room with a (slightly) lower table. It's still feels like a skyscraper for a 5'2" disabled person (me), but at least we were able to eliminate the friggin' hoyer lift. (That thing not only terrified me, but also triggered several flashbacks from my teenaged institutional days.
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The radiation staff also make detailed notes on EVERYTHING, even my comments. This past Friday when I mentioned a few little things (a first time staff, with me) said: "Great! I'll add those things in our notes."
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I, in jest, said: "You guys must have close to a book on me by now."
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He replied with: "Yup! I'm just adding the newest chapter."
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I'm sure he has no idea that I'm a writer, but I was impressed that he picked up and continued the literary theme.
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At the time that of this writing I'm just one treatment shy of my half way point (which didn't happen because a certain person wouldn't listen to me). I've been unofficially told that folks are pretty happy with how things are progressing. So I'm very happy and grateful to all Involved.
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I don't do this very often (to protect the privacy of my staff) but I really owe a gigantic amount of gratitude to my staff, "Hillary" (better known to us as another name) for his commitment and support in seeing me through every step of my cancer journey. He's been to every appointment, every treatment, every procedure, and it was he who first found the lump (although he had no idea what he had so casually and innocently mentioned) while getting me up on that morning. I will forever be grateful.
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The Results of our Eldership Elections
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In my last send out I told folks that I had been nominated for Eldership at Calvin (my church). There were 8 of us nominated, with 6 positions open. It was said to be "very close voting", but sadly I was not among those elected in this voting cycle.
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With reflection, perhaps this was God's way of telling me: "Hey kid-o of mine. I love that you wanted to serve in this manner, but you're already on two church committees, you're doing your writing, you attend Bible Studies & Sunday services as much as you can, you try to make time for as many people as you can; plus and don't forget the whole taking on the breast cancer stuff. Honestly, I think you've got more than your plate full right now.... We'll see about next time kid!
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Don't be too disappointed. You're serving me in more ways than you an imagine. Remember that woman in the waiting room yesterday? You have no idea what she's going though, but when you & 'Hilary' noticed her quietly chuckling, you guys amped it up a bit to make her laugh more. Then, when you told your radiation team (for that day) that you think they're all incredible, - kid you have no clue how much those staff need positive feedback; how many patients they deal with every day, with miserable attitudes, etc. They need upbeat patients to left their spirits too.
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So, don't you worry about whether you're an Elder, Minister, or if you ever have a title at all. You just be you - do what you do best, and I'll be pleased enough."
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~ Love, God. (a.k.a. "The Big Guy". "And yup! I have no problem with you calling me that. I know how you mean it."
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