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A Short Hello From Gerianne
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So last week (May 30th actually) I turned 65, Wow! I'm amazed and slightly confused as to how this happened. As the lyrics in the Talking Heads' "Once In A Lifetime" go:
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"This is not my house! This is not my beautiful ...! How did I get here!!!!???"
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Indeed, how did I get here? How does soooo much - so much good, so much bad/sad/mad get put into one lifetime? It's mindboggling.
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And how, how could (so called) "professionals" - doctors, nurses, teachers, etc., have been so incredibly wrong about me and my life?
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Upfront, some reading this particular "send out" will pretty much certainly be offended by a few terms that I am about to use, but I believe firmly in writing historically and although certain terms that have become blasphemous and heretical talk now, were common everyday acceptable terms when I was a kid.
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It truly astounds me when I stop for a second to think about it, that most of the first diagnoses concerning me and my disability was that I was "retarded" - that I could/would never learn, that I would never amount to anything; that I would always need to live in an institution. I remember one evening after going to bed, I awoke to hear my biological father arguing with my brother, Lloyd:
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"I'm tellin' ya Dad, that kid IS NOT retarded!!!"
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Bill Hull's response: "But the doctors say she is!!!"
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In later years when I moved back to Newfoundland, I obtained a copy of my and my mother's medical records. I was horrified to uncover that around the late 60's, doctors had recommended that I be taken to Montreal for what would essentially be a Lobotomy. Thankfully that did not happen. Instead I ended up moving to Ontario, where Lloyd became my legal guardian, as I was still legally a minor. It was here that my "real life" was finally allowed to begin.
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Around 1976, when Bill Hull did his "annual visit" (which I always viewed as the annual threat to life as I knew it, since I knew that he, being my "biological father," could decide to take me back to Newfoundland at any time. if he chose to and from my view, he was always on the brink of doing so.) On this particular visit, he announced in a stunned/shocked voice: "One of the Rehab nurses in St. John's got arrested for child abuse!!!"
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I smirked and calmly said: "Don't tell me. Let me guess....." and then said her name.
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Bill stood in silence for a moment with additional shock on his face, as he worked up the nerve to ask:
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"She.... She didn't..... abuse you, did she?"
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With much sarcasm I responded: "Ohhhh, no Dad. Don't be silly. Noooooooo, not me! She just abused every other kid in the place, but me..... What do you think???"
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As with many of my writings, such memories seem to resurface around birthdays and other significant occasions, but since many of my subscribers want "real life"' recounts, I'm trying to convey more truths (as I see them) and openness in these "send outs."
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Last spring when anticipating this milestone birthday, I initially had some grand plans. I had planned to have Will Brewer, (Planet 21) host a popup party event; I had visions of a significant celebration with many in attendance; but a year goes by incredibly fast and during the past few weeks I have been (temporarily) ill with several infections, all in one go - a chest infection, an "almost" UTI/kidney infection, almost Strep throat, and on and on. Lordy-Lordy!
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Still, I'm a firm believer in things going according to God's plans and not my own. As my birthday day went on, I realized that my 65th was progressing exactly as it should; a trip to Mission Mart, followed by supper and a streamed movie (Die Hard with a Vengeance) with a good friend. In retrospect, what could be better? Nothing.
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Sometimes we get too caught up with "the grand and the flashy" and we think that without those kinds of ''grands" we're not "doing it," that we don't matter, and yes, unintentionally or not, people can and do make us feel that way; but among the greatest joys I have ever experienced in my 65 years are: making someone else laugh or smile (even if it means making a fool of myself); making others see their own value; and sharing my faith, stories, and life my experiences, in order to motivate others.
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So do me a favor: If you like this "send out," (or previous ones) invite someone who you think will enjoy reading my writing, to subscribe; or extend a friendly greeting to someone - even if they don't reciprocate, and smile!
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